The Life of a Ring Wraith
by darksteeldragonofdoom
Summary: The Ring Wraiths. Crazy. Crazy. And a little more crazy. Burning stuff. Getting the orcs hyper off pepsi and throw a talking rabbit into pools, all the while racing down a steep snowy cliff in apple crates. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Life Of A Ring Wraith  
  
{Author's note:} AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I forgot to put in an entry!!! Just so you know, the first few chapters aren't nearly as good or crazy as the newer few...so go for it, scream like crazy. But it would make a lot more sense if you read them anyway...  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
ENTRIES1 to 9  
  
Entryone  
  
Dear Journal, Today word spread that the dark lord has indeed, risen again. Me and the other eight are quite joyful on this fact. Meaning that the ring is still alive and sauron can turn to power again. We (nine) have not been out for in fact, a few thousand years and are quite out of shape. So we rounded up at coffee break and decided to go to the gym to workout a while and then after walk down to the bar and celebrate the uprising of sauron with a few good drinks of fine beer and ale. Until then I myself am doing my best to sew together those holes in my cloak with an old sewing machine I found downstairs in the dungeons, which was originally used to sew together the mouths of captives to silence their screaming. While some orcs enjoy the screaming others find it quite annoying. So they use the sewing machine to shut up the particularly loud ones. Due to fewer captives these pass few years, they no longer have a use for the machine. Some are quite taken aback by the sudden change in the torture departure. I have been also noticing nowadays of the lackness among the workers. Some of them spend many time just standing there talking to others. Along with that, the halls could use a little dusting, aren't there any janitors? If not there should be indeed. I'll have to make comment about it later...  
  
For the record, Sam (second wraith)  
  
P.S. Also make comment on less fresh meat. Though it matters not for me because I do not eat.  
  
Entrythree  
  
Dear diary, I am dreadfully sad to recall that some people do not believe that we ring wraiths have a proper social life. This however is quite not true. For example, tonight, me and the other eight are going to go to the bar again tonight on celebration of the capture of that ghastly creature gollum. The other eight (including me) take great fun in teasing it, but Will, however takes pity in it. And thus, tempts to dress up in dolls clothes. Which however makes it look impossibly more ugly. Tomorrow, they are having a large bomb fire, though mostly orcs, we too are invited. Last time I am to recall that Joe, I believe, caught on fire, attracted to the light. Anyway, we all wish him to stay behind this year, for his own heath and safety.  
  
The second, Sam  
  
Entryfour  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I hate to recall that sauron is very mad today. He badly scolded me and the other eight for not being able to catch that horrible hobbit with the ring. I think that I may go on a strike. I'm sure Will, will Happily agree with it because for many days past, he has been complaining about the dreadfully sad working environment here in the dark tower of Mordor. Information of this should not get out because Will might even get expelled from the R.W.C. (ring wraith committee).  
  
We (nine) have decided to go and pick up those dragons from that orc rancher. Until then I am still quite taken with sewing up my cloak. Some of us are very busy on keeping health maintenance of the black gate. Its need's regular oiling you know. Have you know I'm scared of heights from those ladders.  
  
For the record, Sam (second)  
  
Entryfive  
  
Dear diary,  
  
We had a dreadfully good time at the bar last night. Joe and Moe alone drank 16 kegs. The cellar room was clean by the time the night was over. Anyway, I have completed the sewing and now my cloak looks as good as new. Moe is jumping up and down on a hyper/drunken rage. While Joe is just reading a book, Cinderella I believe. Scary... All (eight, not including Joe) are also very excited about the bonfire tonight. Joe (still drunk) is considering about going but we won't let him, Larry is now cartwheels, back flips, and, I believe those are summersaults. Remember kids! Don't drink! Halloween is coming up and I am considering going as the simplest thing ever... a ring wraith! ... ...or perhaps a sheep (yes, a sheep!)  
  
Anyway, Sam (second)  
  
Entrysix  
  
The bonfire as very enjoyable, beside the point Joe did go! Unfortunately, none of us could stop him. He was out of control. Of course he did catch on fire again, old habits die hard. At the moment he is on life support for serious burns. He might even die. Away from that, Moe did calm down, but only at 5:00 at night. While at the bonfire there was a party inside. We all played twister. Which was dreadfully fun.  
  
Hope Joe lives, Sam (second) 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 ENTRIES7 to 9  
  
Entry seven  
  
Joe died. Bill gone off to get new wraith.  
  
So sad, Sam (second)  
  
Entryeight  
  
Dear diary, New wraith's a midget.  
  
Some 8 year old by the name of Patrick. His new nickname is Sheep. We call him that because he doesn't talk a lot. He'll get used to it. Maybe he's just not used to the fact he's dead. And that he's going to work for the dark lord. And going around on dragon back terrorizing towns. Or murdering and torturing innocent people. Which I wonder?  
  
I wonder, Sam (second)  
  
Entrynine  
  
Dear diary,  
  
I am deeply considering teaching the guys a new sport. This is to distract them from the unfortunate loss of Joe. All that is now left is to dig up those old badminton rackets the orcs threw away in the storage room because they didn't enjoy the sport. I will gather them all up and we will meet in the gym at 3:00. See ya there!  
  
3:00, Sam (second)  
  
REALITY  
  
"Alright boys! Roll Call!" said Sam (me). "First! " (Moe) "Second! "(Me) "Third! "(Will) "Um... fourth?.." (Sheep) "Fifth!" (Larry) "Sixth!" (Terry) "Seventh! "(Fred) "Eighth! "(Ted) "Ninth! "(Ed)  
  
"First we split ourselves into teams!" "Dude! Nines a odd number!" "But Sheep's a midget." "Doesn't matter!!!" "I'm sure he's just as good a player." "As if!"  
  
"GUYS!" "Alright! Larry, Terry you are the captains, each of you pick a person one at a time!" "I pick Sheep!" "Why?" "Cause he the coolest!" "Sheep?" "You should watch him play soul calibur II!" "He good?" "Awesome! Best I seen!" "And he knows all the coolest words!" "Right Sheep?" "Spadoodle!" "Ha! Yeah hear that?"  
  
"Guys! Let's get on with our game alright?" "We are team spadoodle? Right sheep?!" "Pokadoodle!" "Alright I will pick...Moe!" "And I will pick..."  
  
LATER:  
  
"Alright guys now I will give you all rackets and shuttles." Said Sam. "Do we hit each other with the rackets or do we hit the shuttles in the air to the other persons head?" "No you use the court net behind you." "Oh!"  
  
"You know what this calls for?" said Larry "What?" they said.  
  
"A Soul Calibur II Tournament!!!" Larry said  
  
"Guys! Come back!" "Guys?!" 


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3  
  
ENTRIES10 to 12  
  
EntryTen  
  
Dear Diary, I am to consider that sheep, is indeed a very good soul calibur player. But enough of that, I must now get down to business here around middle earth. I have dwelled on mind that some things are amiss. After long thought and thought more, did I spend in front of the clock as it's metal thingy moved to and fro along with that everlasting hour past. I waited in diligence, for that far way thought to come to mind. What of Halloween? I said to myself in eternal silence. What shall I wear? (As I motioned before some time ago) and I thought away many past time and came with the idea. I'll go as a monkey! Or maybe a goat. I will talk with the others.  
  
Decisions, decisions, Your dearest, Goatmonkey.  
  
P.S. That's it! I will be a goatmonkey for Halloween this year!!!  
  
EntryEleven  
  
Dear diary, I am having technical difficulties with the new VCR. I cannot adjust the time on it. I have done every thing and still it doesn't want to adjust...  
  
REALITY FLASHBACK:  
  
"Darn it. This thing doesn't want to fix." "Yo Two. (this is because I am the second ring wraith. Or Two, as some might suggest.) Wazzup? Foolen wit dat VCD again?" (Larry.) "Correct. It is actually an advance piece of electronics I'll have you know." "HA! I bet it is!" "You know you should really appricated todays technogily of the 1st centery! " "All I care is PS2and games!" "Wait for PSX." "What you say?" "Nothing." "What you really doing?" "Trying to get this clock to work." "Here, let me!" "No! Don't!" "What's this?" "That's an instruction manual!" "HA! See, all you need to do is press this little thingy, while holding down this botton and..." "AARRGGH!! STOP! NOW!" "Along with these two buttons, see?" "You... fixed it..." "Sure did!"  
  
EntryTwelve  
  
REALITY:  
  
"Guy?!" (me) "What are you doing in Saruman's office?" "Just checking it out." (Larry) "Sheep picked the lock on he door." (Joe) Sheep smiles shyly "NO,NO.NO,No,no,no,no!" "If Saruman finds out, I am dead!" "Dude, you're immortal!" (Moe) "check out this black stuff..." "Step away from that and put the torch down please." "Hey, there's a whole truckload of the stuff!" "PUT the TORCH DOWN!!!" "Look's like black sand...." (Sheep) "PUT THE-!" KABOOM!  
  
"Told you." (Sam) "Hey, it... doesn't look like a hospital anymore!" (Larry) "You're right!" (Terry) ""Why did he paint the place a light blue?!" "Goodbye Nursery!" "Well that's one good of it!" "Larry, your head..." "Oh! Got it!" "Thank-you!" "We should go now..." (Sheep)  
  
"Chaos, Disaster, Disorder, mess, smoke, fire and piles of ash."  
"My work here is done." As said by Larry. 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4  
  
ENTRIES13 to 15   
  
Entry 13  
  
Dear diary, A few days ago I got the new computer, and with spare time, I have managed to get it up and running with in a day.  
  
FLASHBACK REALITY: "Hey guy's, guess what?"(Sam) "What?" (all in sync.) "Got the new PC UP!" "Awesome!" (Fred) "Radical!" (Ted) "Tubular!" (Ed) "Spadoodalar!" (Sheep)  
  
All crowd around computer  
  
"Alright. Lets go online..." "Look! What's that?!" "A pop-up ad." "Wow.." (Ed) "Delete!" (Sam) "No! Lets read!" "Hey! Look! Another!" "Delete." "Another." "Delete." "Ano-" "Delete, delete, DELETE!!"  
  
PAUSE  
  
"Alright then..." "Look!" "DELETE!!" "Let's send an e-mail!" (Sam) "To who?" "I have a cousin in Cuba!" "Alright. Now I press send." CLICK "Will it take long to get a reply?" "About a day." "Then what's that?" "That. Was fast." (Sam) CLICK "Hey it's blank." (Moe) "Look! He sent another!" "Blank." "Five more." "All Blank." "21 more." "Blank." "Who's your cousin?" "dunno..."  
  
"Let's go browsing!" (Sam)  
  
LATER  
  
"Hey, this looks like a good site." (Larry)  
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (All)  
"Elmo!!!"  
"EXIT, EXIT, EXIT!!!" (Sam)  
"All is okay..."  
  
Pause  
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ( ALL )  
"POP-UP AD BARNEY!!!"  
"NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
"Ed just had a heart attack!"  
"Told him to lay off clam chowder and tofu!!"  
(Terry)  
"We'll him later, till then we can use him, I mean  
his body, as a piñata!"  
END  
  
Entry14  
  
"Wait guys, stop. "(Playing piñata) (Sam)  
"We need an empty soul to revive Ed right?"  
"And the soul are in Sarumans office right?"  
"Yeah." ( All )  
"We blew up the place!!"  
"NNOOOOO!!"  
  
"Okay, here's the plan..."  
  
MISSION BREAK IN!: Saruman has a top-secert storage room, which sheep knows the location. Break in and steal a soul to revive Joe.  
  
"Alright! Fall out!" LATER  
  
"Yo! There's like a picture..."(Larry) "That's the secret entrance." (Sheep) "That?" "Oh well. How we get it open?" "Gotta use magic." "Magic? Ha! Who needs magic!" "Pry bar?" "Here." "Screwdriver?" "got it." "Blow torch?" "Yep." "Chair?" "Ditto." "Floss?" "Check."  
  
"Alright! I think we're ready!"  
  
LATER  
  
"Got the soul?" "Yep." "Let's get out of here..." "These rainbow colours... are getting to me..." "He is Saruman the rainbow." (Book version.)  
"True."  
  
"Alright! Whew! We are out!" (Sam)  
"You say alright too much." (Moe)  
"Well, what do you want me to say?" (Sam)  
"All's cool."  
"Alri- All's cool then."  
"We better make our way back..." (Jerry)  
  
BACK AT THE WRAITHS LOUNGE  
ROOM  
  
"Alright give this soul to Ed.."  
"Alright?"  
"All's cool!"  
  
"All's cool then! How you felling Ed?"  
  
"What?"  
  
PAUSE  
  
"YAAAYYY!!! ED' S BACK!"  
  
Entry15  
  
Dear Diary, Sam the ring wraith here I teamed up with Moe to write and publish a newspaper to be circulated around Mordor.  
  
I inserted the paper in here. Your friend in pain,  
Sammy.  
  
The Wraith Daily  
  
December edition 17th 2003, $2.00 for a whole junk of useless knowledge  
  
Sam the second ring wraith here to report the tragic event of the unusual number of pink buffalo in the area of Mirkwood. The cause of this is still unclear even the reason why there are buffalo in middle earth. Yet one thing is for certain, the elves have been quite amused by the sightings of these bizarre creatures. These buffalo tend to make their nests in trees. Due to their size they are quite easy to see and has attracted many tourists to the area. Some of the elves are considering building a hotel for these on-lookers. Already they have started the production of this hotel with the ground work set out and the lumber put in place when ready for construction on the hotel. The due date of this hotel is this time next year. Lets just hope the buffalo don't fly south this year. Some of the buffalo cannot support their weight while making this long journey to the south. Many of them fall into tar pits or even into the ocean. One farmer in the shire has reported a buffalo among his wheat-crop. These buffalo are very annoying, they tend to eat entire corn fields for a rest-stop during their long journey south.   
  
"Health general says that there has been reports showing that there has been a intoxicating level of lead in the wines, ales and brews drunken daily at the Prancing Pony."  
  
Owner of the Prancing Pony; Mr.Butterbur says he does not remember putting any coal in the wines and brews. Though some people say he remembers nothing, past yesterday, when a pink buffalo fell through the roof and hit him on the head. There was no known cure to this form of poisoning, except for a blood trans-fusion. This requires three things: another person/relative preferably, horse vein and you! The procedure of this is very gruesome ( this is what they used to do back in the old days. Back at North America.) You see they would get the horse vein, put a needle at the end, stick it into someone and the other end into someone else. Many of the drinkers who have drank this poisonous ale and brew, at the Prancing Pony are going with this method for they do not wish to die. While others turn it away. No charges are being held against Butterbur for he claims it was an honest mistake.  
  
There has been a new fab food, raging across Middle Earth. Coast to coast, house to house, town to town, woods to woods. The inventor of this new food's name is Rose Gamgee. The name of this fabulous gourmet meal is called: Macaroni. The procedure of making this food is quite fragile and frustrating. But, in the end it turns out as delicious, scrumptious and wonderful tasting as one can imagine at ones extent. Yet it is not all it is cracked up to be. We are here to tell you the terrible news of what originally went into those noodles when made originally by Rose Gamgee. Ingredients: Eggs. Raw. Left-over salt pork. Spoiled wheat. And milk that was 5 days over due! Rosie gladly told us all about how she amazingly perfected this recipe from its horrible original state.  
  
NEWS AT MORDOR:  
The orcs have completed discussing the argument of whether or not to close the nursery. The nursery will be torn down at approx. 1 p.m. on Saturday. Though this is a very late time it will also be followed by a bonfire.  
  
Sam the second Ring Wraith with the super-fast typer Moe, we are signing off without a sign.  
  
( no, that is not illegal. Or is it?)  
  
As you might already know, dear readers; that there really is no entry two. Why? Do not ask. For I myself don't know why I forgot to put a entry 2. Also there is soon to be a Christmas special and a self- dissecting science class in the upcoming chapters. 


	5. Chapter 5 Christmas Special

CHAPTER5  
  
Christmas Special  
  
Reality:  
  
Tree Paper Airplanes Mistletoe Fire Crackers Yule log Presents Tables Chairs Food Non-Alcoholic Drinks Stockings Twister Butcher Knife Turkey Pop Popcorn Slush Pogo Sticks Boom Box CD's Ornaments Tin Tinsel Ski-doo's PS2 Anime Manga LOTR (lord of the rings) POTC (pirates of the Caribbean) Canned Beans Chainsaw Methane Gas ETC...  
  
Sam reads over the Mirtrihe Party list carefully  
  
"Yo! Sam! Sam! Sam!" "Guess what! What! What!" "What is it now, Larry and Ted?" (Sam) "I thought you two were trying to find a Mirtrihe tree?" (Sam)  
  
NOTE: In Mordor and middle earth there is no Christian religion so they celebrate Mirtrihe. (Pronounced: Mir-trith)  
  
"Oh! We got the tree, but look what else we found!"  
  
Sam sighs at the little brown ball of fluff in Larry's hands "It's just a rabbit."  
  
"WHAT?!? JUST A RABBIT?! I AIN'T NO RABBIT!! I'M A ..!! I'm a... rabbit.." "See! I told you so! This is not just any ordinary rabbit! It's a talking rabbit!" (Ted) "Wow. Does it have a name?" "Um...no." (Ted) "Isn't it adorable?" (Will who pops out of nowhere) "I'll give it a name!!" (Will) (He's obsessed with cute and fluffy things...) "I'll name it... Bunnie!" "How original..." (Sam) "Bunnie? But my real name is-" (Bunnie) "But you said that you didn't remember your real name!" (Larry) "I don't!" (Bunnie) "Then what is it?!" (Larry) "My real name is-" "See?! You do remember your real name!" "Of course I do!!" Will breaks down into a cry  
  
"Leave the poor bunny alone you bully!!!" (Will) "It's not my fault he's so stupid!" "Let go of the bunny! You're choking him!!" (Will) "Charleson!!!" (Bunnie) "What?" "That's my name!" "Your name is Bunnie now!" (Will) "But...." "Can I hold him?" "Sure. Here, take him." Will smiles and walks off with bunnie  
  
"You two put up the tree and decorate it with the ornaments in that box over there. Okay?" (Sam)  
  
"I'll be in the next room checking on the other guys.."  
  
Sam walks on over to the other room  
  
......... "What are you two doing? Don't you know how to light a fire?" (Sam) "Sure we do! We just thought a little gun powder and propane would spaz it up a little!" (Fred) "What he said!" (Ed) "I'll be over with Sheep and Terry to check on them with the second tree. Don't TRY to get yourselves KILLED. We are running out of souls." (Sam)  
  
"How you doing?" "Great! Sheep's so light and small he can just hop on up the branches and put the ornaments on. Problem is, every now and then when he put's on the lights he-" "AHHHHH!" (Sheep) CRASH!! "Gets all tangled and falls like he's bungee jumping. I think that the past few times he's just doing it for kicks." (Terry)  
  
"Glad to see he's adapting to the surrounding environment of sorrow!" (Sam) "I'd go check on Moe and Will." "Last time I saw them they were sliding down that hill in apple cases with a rabbit in their arms full-speed at a 75 degree angle." "Oh. Thanks, I'll be checking it out now, thanks." "you do that."  
  
"Guys! GUYS!" "WHAT??!!!" "STOP AND GO BACK TO WORK!!" "CAN'T STOP!!!" "WHY?!" "CAUSE YOU'RE IN OUR WAY!!!!" "huh?" "MOVE!!" "uh..." "RUN!!"  
  
CRASH!!! "Told you so!" "What am I doing back here?" (Sam) "These two are crazy!!! They are going to get me killed!!" (Bunnie) "Tell me about it!" (Sam) "Alright, it all started-"(Bunnie) "No! Not really!" (Sam) "Stop this apple crate right now." (Sam) "No can do." "Why?" "Jumps coming up." "WHAT?!" "I SAID-"  
  
"AAAAHHAHHHAHHHHHHHH!!!" (All four include the bunnie.)  
  
PLUNK!  
  
LATER THE NEXT NIGHT BEFORE THE PARTY:  
  
"Nnooooo!!! I said tomato juice! Not potato juice!" ( Sam) "Why can we not have carrot juice?!" ( Bunnie) "Sigh... I give up!.." (Sam) "No! Don't give up!! Never give up!" (Sheep) "I sincerely believe he has gotten into the Pepsi again..." ( Will) "I found him hanging by his cloak from the chandelier in the sitting room this morning." (Ted) "Talk about Pepsi! Who needs vegetable punch anyway?" (Ed) "Yeah! We could just give them some Pepsi!" (Fred) "I'm sure the orcs will love that!!" (Ted) "I don't think that that is a good idea.." (Moe) "Have you all forgotten that-"(Sam) "Gone to the cellars!" "See you in a bit!" "Pepsi!!" "Oh no..." (Bunnie) "Bye!!"  
  
PAUSE  
  
"Guy's come back here!" (Sam) "Oh what is it? I can't remember-"(Moe) "Can't remember what?! The point that the Orcs are sugar intolerant! Drink that Pepsi and they will be so hyper the place will be giant pile of rocks by morning!!" (Sam) "Oh my..." (Moe) "We must stop them at any costs!!" (Sam) "You know the guys! Once they get their idea on something they stick to it! We can't stop them!!!" (Moe) "We'll see about that!" "This wouldn't be by chance one of those crazy, insane, suicidal, ideas that you only have every year or so through a lack of excitement and always nearly gets us killed?!?" "That's it." "WHAT DID I HEAR JUST NOW?!?" (Bunnie) "What are you doing here?" "I begged Will to put me down...!" "Oh!" "I over heard you two talking about some crazy, insane, suicidal, idea to get the Pepsi out of the hands of those mischievous little locomotion's...!" (Bunnie) LATER: "Put me down!!! PUT ME DOWN!!" (Bunnie) "No! Now shut up!" (Moe) ".........." (Bunnie) "Alright, as you might already know, ring wraiths have only one weakness!" (Sam) "I do not know what their weakness' are! I only just found out what a ring wraiths is! You expect me to know all this!" (Bunnie) "No I don't!" (Sam) "Clearly you wraiths should lean how to speak English the proper way!" (Bunnie) "We will, but not now!" (Sam) "As far as ring wraiths go, we are very dark and evil. We can't stand happy white stuff, that's why we wear black cloaks, right? Catching on here?" (Sam) "Yes, I think so..." (Bunnie) "If we turn their cloaks white it'll drive them crazy!" "How do you expect us to turn their cloaks white?!" "Javex." "You expect us to just walk on up to them and pour on some Javex and bleach their cloaks white, and make them go crazy, just like that?" (Bunnie) "Yep." "Sigh... Alright then let's go and get this over with.." (Bunnie) "I knew you would see it my way!" "Lets get going before it's too late! (Moe)  
  
LATER  
  
"Hummmm.." (Sam) "You really think there's Javex down here?!" (Moe) "There's gotta be! It is the janitors closet you know!" (Sam) "Dear I say this janitor of yours is very unorganized!" "There's stuff all over the place..." "Look! Popular Science Magazine! 1969...!" (Sam) "Wow, looks like someone has seen the ages!" (Moe) "AHHHHHHH!!" (Moe) "Socks." (Moe) "It's not our fault that you are afraid of socks!" "Guy's! Look I found it! The Javex!" (Sam) "Great! Now let us avoid all this animal poison and toxic glue, and get out of this place!" (Bunnie) "You heard the rabbit! Let's get out of here!"  
  
AT THE CELLARS  
  
"Why are we down here again?" (Bunnie) "We have to sneak up on the others and pour these giant barrels of Javex on them." "Man, I feel like a traitor..." "It's for the best if you want to see Mordor again." "Shhhhhhhhh! Be quiet! There they are!" (Bunnie)  
  
"you think that there's enough pepsi in here to give to the whole army of Mordor?" (Larry) "You never know!" (Terry)  
  
( Sam ) "on the count of three we pour the Javex on them. Okay?" "one...two...three!"  
  
CRASH! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "It burns! It burns!" "The light!!!" "Noooooonoooononoooo!" "Pain! Immense pain!!!" "Gack!" "Guys? Alright...." (Sheep) Sheep isn't affected because he isn't really pure wraith yet.  
  
"Our job here is done!" (Sam)  
  
"MISSON COMPLETE!!!" (Moe) "joy." (Bunnie)  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
In the end, the others wraiths recovered and the party was a success. They apologized and learnt today's lesson: DON'T GIVE PEPSI TO ORCS.  
  
Never Again,  
Sammy the Second (Ring Wraith) 


	6. Chapter 6 Character bios

CHAPTER6PERSONAL BIOS!!  
  
One Ring To Bring Them All, One Ring To Find Them, One Ring To Take Them All, And I'm on a sugar high!!!!!  
  
Hello! Darksteeldragonofdoom here! This chapter is a whole Bio on the main characters of my Ring Wraith Fanfic! Included in this Bio is their full names, height, weight, age and even their favorite hobbies! Also are some really awesome facts that you never knew of yet! This Personal Bio includes all the Ring Wraiths (even Sheep!) and the lovable, drop-dead-cute, but serious mascot Bunnie!  
  
Enjoy the pain!!  
  
MOE1st RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Morris James Treason HEIGHT: 6'1" WEIGHT: We'll never know. AGE: About 2000 years old. HOBBIES: Handy with computers and is a fast typer.  
  
First and oldest wraith to join the R.W.C. (Ring Wraith Committee) (((( Just so you know, the R.W.C. was founded by Sauron.))))  
  
Seemly has a secret great fear of socks. Likes to play around with all sorts of gadgets and trinkets, and likes to play The Sims on the computer. Usually found sitting in front of computer screen waiting for someone to e- mail him on MSN. Thanks to such experience with typing he is the fastest typer on the team. Works on WRAITH DAILY. Immature.  
  
SAM2nd RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Samuel Mary Morison HEIGHT: 5'11" WEIGHT: Not telling. AGE: About 1700 years. HOBBIES: Obsessed with Final Fantasy, anime, and bunnies! ;-) Plus dragons!!!  
  
Second ring wraith. Seemly great fear of water. And lakes. But once in, refuses to come out! Loves dragons! ...... All I can think of......  
  
WILL3rd RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: William Ronald Jr. HEIGHT: 5'10" WEIGHT:??????? AGE: About 1700 years. HOBBIES: Tree hugger. Wildlife Preserver and dedicated vegetarian. Dude.  
  
Third ring wraith. Cool. He's like totally radical, right? Nice vibes. He's like "in" with the spiritual nature, right? Yeah.  
Dude.  
  
SHEEP4th RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Patrick (Last name still unknown) HEIGHT: 4' WEIGHT: Why do you keep asking? AGE: 8 years. Though he's much more mature than that. HOBBIES: Playing soul calibur II and eating marshmallows on a regular basis.  
  
Forth ring wraith. Replacement of Joe (who died by catching on fire. If you are wondering why they never resurrected him with a new soul, it's because he was just a pile of ash and there was no body to put the new soul into.) young and only at the age of eight, he is mature and a genesis, only he tries not to be. Enjoys playing Final Fantasy and Soul Calibur II on the PS2. Also has a fondness for eating marshmallows at exactly 3:00 every day on a regular basis.  
  
LARRY5th RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Larry Robert Indigo HEIGHT: 6' WEIGHT:??????????? AGE: 1800 years HOBBIES: Hanging out with Sheep, burning stuff, and bugging people to death!  
  
Fifth ring wraith. Larry has a good sense of humor, which takes place of all his other senses, which gets him in trouble a lot. He enjoys hanging out with Sheep a lot, in his spare time. Usually found (when not hanging out with Sheep or bugging people to death,) with a lighter at hand, burning various things.  
  
TERRY6th RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Torsion Macley HEIGHT: 5'11' WEIGHT:????? AGE: 1900 years HOBBIES: Cooking fish sticks.  
  
Sixth ring wraith. Terry has a shy fondness of cooking fish sticks. Herbal fish sticks, meatless fish sticks, BBQ fish sticks, fried fish sticks, baked fried sticks, sushi fish sticks, fish sticks cake, cheese fish sticks and chicken-flavored fish sticks.  
  
FRED7th RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Freddy Thompson HEIGHT: ???? WEIGHT:?????  
  
AGE: 1600 years. HOBBIES: None.  
  
Seventh ring wraith. Fred is really as average as you get in most terms. He has no hobbies, and, in fact, he doesn't do much of anything. Slightly mysterious.  
  
TED8th RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Teddy John Morrison HEIGHT: 6' 2" WEIGHT: ????????? AGE: 1900 years. HOBBIES: Great love for old things.  
  
Eighth ring wraith. Ted has a great love for reading books and put together old gadgets. Usually found coming up with a new way to break into Saruman's office while at the tower of Isengard. This so he can get at all the little brass trinkets he has hidden away in his office. Ted usually gets in trouble for such behavior.  
  
ED9th RING WRAITH:  
  
FULL NAME: Edison Ferry HEIGHT: 5'11" WEIGHT: ????????? AGE: 1800 years. HOBBIES: Obsessed with snow. Also an excellent poet. Man of many talents. But rarely puts them to use.  
  
Ninth ring wraith. Ed is found often in the winter time, stuck outdoors in a snow bank, in eating snow. Because of the dirtiness of Mordor, with all that dust in the air, there tends to be a high level of iron in the snow. Poor Ed. Also a poet, bet he didn't know it.  
  
BUNNIEMASCOT:  
  
FULL NAME: Charleson HEIGHT: 10" WEIGHT: 20 lbs. (he's a fat rabbit!) AGE: 3 years. HOBBIES: Hopping around and correcting orcs and other wraiths on their "improper English."  
  
Cute and adorable mascot! Is a English hare. (Heehee!)  
  
Just so you know, yes, Moe is the witch king. But is no better that the others with his immatureness, but at times can be VERY serious! 


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7  
  
Entries#15to19  
  
Entry15  
  
Dear diary,  
  
The other day, Moe (Witch King) has left us to go on a important duty of finding the ring. We are still yet to hear from him, for he will return in a short time.  
  
Sam the second ring wraith!  
  
Entry16  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Moe has finally returned. He did, indeed, found the ring. But lost it on the way over. We'll see what Sauron has to say. Chances are, Moe is going to get a big, fat, scolding.  
  
Later Sam the Second Ring Wraith!  
  
Entry17  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Moe. Got. Put. In. The. Corner. Sauron gave him a scolding all right! And he sent Moe to the corner! That's the worst thing you could do to a Ring Wraith.  
  
Oh no! Sam the Second Ring Wraith!  
  
Entry18  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Look's like to steams blown over. But we still have to be on our toes and not do anything drastic to get us on trouble.  
  
P.s. Note to self: Remind Larry to put blowtorch down and stop trying to crack open those large barrels of TNT.  
  
Entry19  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Seems that Moe's dragon accidentally ate the ring! Now all we have to do is wait...  
  
Gross! Sam the Second Ring Wraith!  
  
I am to say, or recall for the matter (as I always do and tend to do) that this is indeed the shortest chapter that I have ever written. But it matters not how long it is as long as you get your short point to the matter. I also apologize if that last comment did not make any proper sense to the half of you, even if it may be more or less of that half. No. I do not live in an igloo. And with those matters aside I would like to say note of the future chapters yet to come in future chapters. These notes on the topic are: Ring Wraiths go to see the Return of the King at Theatre and Ring Wraiths play Twister and Ring Wraiths find the Science behind Friction and Impact. (Actually, the last two aren't really future chapters.. But if you bug me enough...)  
  
Farewell, Darksteeldragonofdoom  
  



	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER#8  
  
SELF-DISSECTING SCIENCE CLASS!!!  
  
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (Will)  
  
"Moe, listen, we need the frogs for the dissection science class!" (Sam) "Don't hurt the froggies! Don't put a finger on them!" (Will) "Don't worry Will. We won't have to, else if we want warts. See, we use these here gloves!" (Moe) "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Will breaks down and cries "Moe!" (Sam) "What? Was it something I said?" (Moe) "Stop acting so immature! You are the witch king! Respect Will's feelings!" (Sam) "I'm not acting immature!" (Moe) "Yes you are! You're acting like 8 year old!" (Sam) "Hey! I'M 8 years old!!!" (Sheep) "Sorry sheep." (Sam) "Dude! We are not, like, dissecting the froggies are we?..." (Will) sniffles "No, of course not!" (Moe) "Moe don't!" (Sam) "We are just going to put them all on individual plastic trays, then, we are going to take out sharp and dangerous tools and cut open it's stomach and look at it's liver!" (Moe)  
  
PAUSE  
  
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" (Will) "MOE!!" (Sam) "DON'T KILL THE FROGGIES!!!! NNOOOOOOOO!!!" (Will) "Will, calm down." (Sam) "DON'T...sniff... KILL THE FROGGIES!! NNNONOOOOOOO" (Will) "Moe!!!" (Sam) "What? You want us to do self-dissecting?" (Moe) "Yep." "Alright... this is scary... I'm leaving now. Good-Bye!" (Sheep) "No. No way. No way whatsoever. This is suicide!!" (Moe) "Froggies...sniff... live?" (Will) "Yes Will, the froggies can live." (Sam) "FROGGIES LIVE! FROGGIES LIVE! FROGGIES LIVE!!! DUDE!" (Will) "Could you go round up the other wraiths please? Class is about to start." (Sam) "It's official. If I was EVER crazy, you just surpassed me." (Moe)  
  
LATER AT SCIENCE CLASS  
  
"Good morning class, today we will go ahead with the dissecting." (Sam) "Great! So no more battery tests, no more balloons, no more weight scales?" (Larry) "So we are going on to the real stuff?" (Terry) "I really don't know what you mean by that, but sure." (Sam) "So... where's the frogs?" (Fred) Will smiles "Bingo! There's not going to be any frogs." (Sam) "What?" "No frogs?" "Cats?" "Don't look at me!" (Bunnie) "How can we dissect without frogs?" "We don't need any! Because we are going to dissect on ourselves!" (Sam) "WHAT?" "ARE YOU MAD?" " YAY!!!" "Please come and line up single file to take the.. eh.... What are these things called? Um...little sharp cutting things!" (Sam) "This is suicidal! Give me one of those sharp cutting things!" (Ed) "Me too!" "I have a list here of the organs I want you to observe. I repeat, just observe. Don't do anything drastic. They are: the lungs, livers, intestines, stomach..." (Sam)  
  
LATER  
  
" Wow! I never knew I had so much blood in me!" (Fred) "Hey Ted." (Terry) "Yeah?" (Ted) "You know those fish sticks I ate this morning?" (Terry) "Yeah." (Ted) "I found them." (Terry) "............" (Ted) "uh oh." (Larry) "What?" (Sam) "I poked open my liver." (Larry) "It's not my fault, but I can call the insurance agent for you if you want me too." (Sam) "You better do that." (Larry) "(Save the froggies!( La la la la!(Dude!" (Will) "Ow...I just punctured my lung..." (Sheep) "Are you an amputee when you lose a internal organ, or just arms and legs?" (Ed) "Why am I doing THIS? Why I ask, WHY? "(Moe) POP! "Gak! Someone get my heart! It's under the table!" (Moe) "Don't worry I got- it? Oops..." (Ted) "Ted you klutz! Where is it?" (Moe) "Aha! Here it is! I got it!" (Larry) "Larry you idiot! That's my heart! Give it back!" (Terry) "um... sorry.."(Larry) "THIS is my heart! I found you! (" (Moe) "What's going on?" (Sam) "They are cutting themselves open and ... and..." (Bunnie)  
  
"GUY'S!!! This has gone a little to far for today.." (Sam) "Plus class is over!"(Sam) "So find any MISSING body parts and put them in their proper place and let's get going!" (Sam)  
  
END!(  
  
Messiest science class ever. LONG LIVE THE FROGGIES!!!  
  
Shortest end-of-chapter-note too!  
  
Darksteeldragonofdoom!!  
  
P.s. Enjoy the quote of the chapter section! (   
  
QOUTE OF THE CHAPTER!!!   
  
"It's offical. If I was EVER crazy, you just surpassed me."  
  
as said by Moe. 


	9. Chapter 9 Trip to the Theatre

CHAPTER%9  
  
RING WRAITHS GO TO SEE  
The LORD of the RINGS RETURN OF THE KING  
AT THE THEATRE!!!%  
  
Dear Fanfic readers, Or those who do not read fanfics at all, or those who jut found this site, or those who are on this site, but cannot read. I am to hope that you enjoy the past few chapters that I slowly typed on this fast computer; or perhaps quickly typed on a slow computer. I also know through my few and uncounted years of life, that in real books, introductions can be very boring. So boring, I tend to skip them. But that doesn't mean that I won't leave them out in my fanfic, I'll just try to make them as interesting as possible. I do not blame you if you skip this altogether, but I do not blame you if you do not know this either, because you did not read it. So I'll do my best in my impossible power to make this as funny as possible. Stop laughing. It's not funny! Or is it?  
  
Darksteeldragonofdoom! I live in the darkness...  
  
P.s. Please note, the very, very long title. But for those select few, who cannot take in such long titles; my sincerest apologies, and here's the shorter version: Ring Wraiths go to Theatre. Thank-you. Can I poke your eyes out? Please!!!   
  
" LARRY! NO LARRY! DON'T!!!" (Moe) "It's only barrels of wine!" (Larry) "NO IT'S-"(Moe)  
  
KKKKAAABBOOOOOMMM!!! (smoke fills the air and bits up stuff falls down.)  
  
"THAT was not wine!!" (Larry) "NO YOU IDIOT!! IT WAS PURE ALCOHOL!!!" (Moe) "How was I supposed to know?!" (Larry) "Can't you read?!? Right on the barrel, SEE??!!" (Moe) "Oh." (Larry) "You should really read the labels before burning!" (Moe) "Sorry." (Larry) "Let's go. Sam is organizing a meeting in the lounge." (Moe) "Kay." (Larry)  
  
AT THE R.C.W. LOUNGE  
  
"Guy's ...guess what is happening tonight!" (Sam) "Dunno." "Nope." "Not a clue." "Don't care." "L.O.T.R. R.O.T.K!!" (Sheep) "What?! I do not recall that word being in my vocabulary. Like a lot of the words you all say. Do I have a small vocabulary, or do all of you?" (Bunnie)  
  
"Go Sheep!! The Lord of the Rings Return of the King (gasps for breath.) is coming to theatre tonight!!" (Sam) "That LOTR!!" "I am SO going!" "Tonight? I never knew!"  
  
"Alright then! It's settled we're all going!"  
  
THAT NIGHT  
  
"Why are we lined outside the theatre in 50 below weather again?" (Terry) "Because we're are going to see lord of the rings!!" (Ed) "Oh Yeah!" (Terry) "Bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...sure is cold.." (Fred) "Why I feel quite comfortable!" (Bunnie) "That's because you're a rabbit! You live in such weather!" (Will) "I wish I had a fluffy, thick, white fur coat..." (Terry) "NNNOOOOOOO!! Don't you even think about it!!" (Will) "I admit, it is very cold out..." (Sam) "To bad we couldn't light a fire.." (Moe) "Leave it to me!!!" (Larry, who whips out a lighter and some flammable fatwood and a saved bottle of pure alcohol.) "Larry, you're amazing." (Terry) "Yes, yes, I know..." (Larry) "To bad the doors just opened up! We can go inside now!!" (Moe) "Yes!!" (Sam) "No... I wanted to light a fire..." (Larry)  
  
INSIDE88  
  
"So cozy! So warm!" "Kay guy's, we have to pick a seat." (Sam) "Thanks for stating the obvious!" (Ted) "Dude! You all sit down, while I like, get the grub!" (Will) "Here's the money and we'll all have food, not grub." (Sam) Will leaves "What about me? I cannot eat human... I mean, your type of food." (Bunnie) "Don't worry Bunnie, Will gave me some snacks to give to you, here." (Sheep) "Is that...it is! It is! It is kidney bean's dipped in honey and sprinkled with sugar!!" (Bunnie) "Gross.." (Fred) "I wonder what the movie is going to be like?" (Moe) "Excellent I hope!" (Sheep)  
  
RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING  
  
"WHAT'S THAT NOISE?!" (Moe) "IT'S THE FIRE ALARM!!" (Sam) "LARRY YOU IDIOT!! PUT IT DOWN!! PUT DOWN THE BLOWTORCH!!" (Moe) "SORRY!!" (Larry)  
  
Ringing suddenly stops  
  
"That put up quite a commotion." (Ted) "Yeah, tell me about it." (Sam) "Larry! Be more careful next time!" (Fred) "I just couldn't resist...burning the chair..." (Larry) "You remember the "incident" with the propane tank?" (Sam) "Yeah, I was in bed for months..." (Larry) "Where's Will?" (Fred) "Here I am!" (Will) "Hey!" (Moe) "Let's see, three large popcorn, four mediums, and two smalls, seven large drinks, two mediums, three bars, two nachos and a bag of candy for Sheep!" (Will) "Look! The movie's starting! Will sit down!" (Sam)  
  
(On the screen) PLEASE TAKE THIS TIME TO CLEAN YOUR GLASSES BEFORE THE MOVIE. THANK-YOU.   
  
"Guys, clean your glasses!" (Sam) "Um... none of us have glasses... " "I have sunglasses!" (Larry) "Yes but, you don't need them indoors!" (Terry)  
  
"Look it's really starting!" (Fred)  
  
MIDDLE OF MOVIE  
  
"Ewww... Gross... What's that smell?" (Sam) "Bunnie!" (Moe) "It was not me!" (Bunnie) "Sure it wasn't!" "You only had kidney beans!" " Actually, it wasn't him..." (Larry) "Larry?" "It was this jar of compressed extra-strength sleeping gas, that I sorta sat on." (Larry) "WHAT?" "oh no..." "yawn... say what? I'm so tired.."  
  
After movie  
  
"Huh? Is the movie over?" "The sleeping gas must have knocked us all out cold..." (Larry) "NNOOOOOOOOO!!! We missed the movie!! NNNOOOOOO!!!" (Sheep) "This is so disappointing..." (Sam) "What do we do? The movie is over." "I say we gag Larry for bringing a jar of compressed sleeping gas to a theatre! And then sitting on it!" (Sam) "That. Sounds like a good idea." (Moe) "Guys?" (Larry) "Get him!!" "Gotta run!! Good-bye!" (Larry)  
  
END%! 


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER%10  
  
SPECIAL 11th ANNIVIRSARY CHAPTER!  
  
Journey to the Leg Lacking Lake  
  
Dear Strangers, Readers and people with a personality of a brick,  
  
How? You may ask, can an anniversary be on the 11th chapter? Sure, you have heard of 10th anniversary or 15th, 20th, 25th, 30th, 40th, 50th etc... but as you may already have read, the wraiths have a way of making everything very twisted. So, as all goes, the anniversary chapter is really the 11th chapter. Another reason may be because there is no 10th chapter...even though the top of the page says 10th chapter...now I'm really confused. Next chapter: Little English tea party! Please read and review or I will have to eat the whole 11th Anniversary cake all by myself with out sharing any with you... I mean that in the best way as possible. No that isn't a threat.  
  
Darksteeldragonofdoom!  
  
"Guys!!!" (Sam) "Guess what?!" (Sam) "What...." (all) "It's the 11th hundredth anniversary of the R.C.W.!!!" (Sam) "Oh great..." "Joy..." "I think I hear my mom calling! Gotta go!" "Fred!" (Sam) "I was thinking..." (Sam) "And what were you thinking?!" (Bunnie) "That we could celebrate our 11th hundredth anniversary!" (Sam) "Shouldn't it be, like, the 10th anniversary instead? I mean, doesn't it go by the multiple of tens?" (Will) "Well, I sorta forgot last time..." (Sam) "Well then! If you put it that way..." (Moe) "Hey! Why don't we have a pool party!" (Larry) "Yeah! Just the nine of us!" (Ted) "Have you all forgotten?! It's the middle of winter! The only place we can swim is in the lakes! And they're all frozen over!" (Sam) "So? We can just crack the ice up and make a giant hole for us to swim in." (Fred) "We can, like, jump in, cloaks and all! Like polar bears do!" (Will) "You are all nutcases!" (Sam) "Come on, I recall that there is chainsaws somewhere down stairs!" (Moe) "Hey, I could round up some T.N.T. and make it a lot easier! That is, if I have your permission Moe." (Larry) "I never thought I'd catch myself doing this, but... Larry?" (Moe) "Yeah?"(Larry) "You have my permission to get some T.N.T." (Moe) "Yay!" (Larry) "No use trying to stop them, so I'll just tag along..." (Sam)  
  
LATER  
  
"Alright, let's make sure we have everything..." (Sam) "Drill?" "Got it." (Ed) "T.N.T.?" "Three barrels!" (Larry) "I doubt we'll be needing that much..." (Sam) "Volley ball and net?" (Sam) "Like, totally!" (Will) "Poison fruit punch?" (Sam) "How did you know I put poison in it?!" (Ted) "I just know these things..," (Sam) "Really? Your physic?" (Ted) "No. You always poison the punch Ted." (Sam) "Oh." (Ted) "Cherry pie?" (Sam) "Yep." (Ed) "Good. Looks like we're set then." (Sam) "Fall out!" (Sam)  
  
And so, the nine jolly ring wraiths set out on their perilous journey to the leg lacking lake.  
  
"bbbrrrrrrrrrr....! It's freezing outside!! "(Larry) "How many times must I tell you?! We're the living dead! We can't feel the cold!!!" (Sam) "Now, now Larry, we're almost at the lake...!" (Moe) "There it is! I see it!" (Ted) "Get that T.N.T. ready Larry." (Sheep) "One step ahead of you Sheep." (Larry) "You guys stay here while I go set the explosives. Lay down when I give the word." (Larry)  
  
...................................  
  
Suddenly Larry comes running towards them waving his arms.  
  
"HIT THE DECKS!!" (Larry)  
  
BOOM  
  
"Ahhhhh!!! My beautiful white rabbit hair is burnt by falling specks of fire!!" (Bunnie) "It's not that bad, you cry baby!" (Moe) "Yes!!! A perfect hole in a giant leg lacking lake for our party!!" (Ted) "I'll set up the net, Ed want to help?" (Sam) "Yayyy!!!" (Fred, as he jumps in water) "Here Sheep, I brought you a large in inflatable tube so you don't sink to the bottom." (Larry) "Thanks." (Sheep) "Service!" "I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I don't got it." (Fred)  
  
Sheep jumps off the tube and stands on Larry's shoulders to serve back the ball  
  
"I think, I will just sit here and munch on this cherry pie... AHHHHHHH! What are you trying to do, kill me?!?!" (Bunnie) "Sorry Bunnie... I didn't mean to..." (Fred) "are you out of your mind?! You nearly hit me with the ball!!" "I really didn't mean to..." "You could have killed me!!" "WATCH OUT!!!" "aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! That's the second time you all nearly hit me with the ball!!!!" "wow. I guess you have good reflexes..." "That is it. I am moving far away from you guys are your crazy game of volleyball!!" "Let's see... so far you had your hair burnt to a crisp by fire, and hit twice by a volley ball... I think you are well are your way go becoming a wraith." (Fred) "What?! Me?! A wraith?! I'm a rabbit. And rabbits are not wraiths." "NNNOOOO! WATCH OUT! YOU NEARLY HIT ME THAT TIME TO!! Can't you guys aim?!"  
  
The End 


	11. A Wraith Tale Introduction

**A Wraith Tale**  
  
_Just an Introduction_  
  
What you are about to read is a highly complex plotline with many twists and turns that are unsuspected. And if you have read my past works, this new chapter in the wraith saga is just as funny and unusual as any of the ones before it's time. I am to hope that all the fan fiction reading people out there are to enjoy this masterpiece that I have slaved on for so long. You may also know that this story is edited, so it looks better and is easier to read. So the question is folks, if you wash with blue soap, then howcome the bubbles are white and not blue? When reading this story please take caution and proceed while doing the following:  
  
1.If you're gonna skip this boring part of the introduction, do it now.

2.This is a long Fic, so if you're gonna read it all, get comfortable.

3.Don't be afraid to laugh out loud. Even if you're on an airplane or at a library.

4.Please write a review. Let's me know you like it, hate it and give me suggestions to write in a new chapter.

5.That's it.

6.I hate this automatic number listing thing.

7.Everytime I press "enter" it starts a new number column.

8.See??

9.Damn you, Microsoft word. Damn you.  
  
From a person that you may never know,

_darksteeldragonofdoom a.k.a. Sam Moss_


	12. A Wraith Tale Part One

Part 001  
  
The note found  
  
It was another rainy day. Rain pounding on the windows, that annoying pat- ta-tat-tat-tat that could drive even the most professional physcologist (Ithink I spelt that wrong) insane. It was the springish time of year at Mordor. When it gets all wet, soggy, and miserable. It makes you wants to curl up in a tiny hole in the ground where it's safe and dry. Such weather that Moe doesn't like. Such weather means bad things.  
  
Such was the day the note was found.  
  
It was about midday when it all started. And as most things do, it started out as a sweet, and innocent thing (like kids!). Since it was a rainy day, it was time to go shopping when rainy day money. The R.W.C. (ring wraith committee) committed themselves and were very serious about following the tradition of saving up money for a rainy day. You see, wraiths don't naturally grow old, as they are already quite dead, so they live very long, long, long lives. So, rather than spend a little money each week of their time, because they live so long, they have the time to save up all the money they made in the whole year (which they got from doing chores, errands, etc...) and go to the candy store to spend it all off. (and yes! They do have a candy store in Mordor. And a marketplace too!)  
  
So it was that day, the rainiest, soggiest, miserableist, saddest, foggiest, dampest day of the spring, that they decided to go to the candy store to spend all of their preciously saved money. And classically, they would take all their candy and go back to their tower. Where they would sit and talk and brag about who has the most candy and who has the best candy, and play video games. Then they would rent the scariest horror movie and sit down and watch it, all-the-while munching on bags of candy. Sometimes (well, most of the time really...) one of them would let out the occasional yelp of surprise at the movie, and maybe even a small scream.   
  
Then, after the movie, they would all depart, and go home, where they would crawl into beds, tired and with an aching stomach from eating too much candy. Then the next morning they would all go downstairs and talk about who screamed the most and who was most afraid. And then that was that. So after the meeting of the R.W.C., stating that that day was going to by the day that they go buy candy, Moe and all the others; Sam, Will, Sheep, Larry, Terry, Ted, Fred, Ed and Bunnie (in that order) headed out to their rooms to get their piggy banks to buy the candy. So, Moe climbed up all 7 stairs case to his room in the 7th tower, went into his room and grabbed the piggy bank.   
  
At this point he began shaking the poor piggy bank fiercely, to get the money out though the small slot. (these banks didn't have a cork at the bottom.) This alone takes a few hours. The first coin took 5 minutes to get out. It fell with a "ping" to the stone floor, bounced, and rolled under the bed. Moe bent down on all fours and began to search under the bed for the missing coin.  
  
There was little light in the room, because it was rainy and grey outside and not much light came though the glass window. So underneath the bed was total darkness. Moe, who plunged his hand into this blackness and began feeling for his coin, expected to feel the cold metallic feel of a round coin, but instead ended up with the feel of crumpled paper. Now Moe doesn't have the neatest room ever. But he is careful not to leave too many things on the dirty stone floor. It was quite a surprise for him when he found the paper, as he doesn't leave anything under his bed on purpose. As he unwrinkled it, he discovered that it was actually a letter. It read:  
  
Dear Moe,  
  
Remember me? Your dear old pal? We used to be friends. Buddies. Pals. Then you FORGOT me. You just left me there... And then you sent me away...  
  
Why? You Became aFraid of me... and You LEFT me... I was all alone... But I've come back Moe. I've come back...  
  
TO GET YOU.  
  
Your dearest friend, The Sock  
  
Moe shook in fear as he clasped the notes firmly in his hands. He must have sat there for long time thinking, before he got up and flew down the stairs in mass panic. He caught up with the others who were on their way to the candy store with piggy banks under their arms.  
  
"aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!" (Moe)   
"wazzup?" (Larry)   
"The most horrible thing just happened!!" (Moe)  
"You found the old pudding me and Ted hid in your closet?!" (Fred)   
"You what?! No, I didn't find it." (Moe)   
"Then what?" (Sam)   
"This...!" (Moe)  
  
Moe held the crumpled note in his hand for all to see. They all stood in silence.  
  
"How could..?" (Larry)   
"But we..." (Ted)   
"It came back..?" (Ed)   
"The...sock..." (Terry)   
"It's been buried..." (Fred)   
"It's not alive... it's not living at all... it's a sock..." (Larry)  
  
Part 002  
  
Moe's dark history...  
  
It seems that Moe, our witch king and leader of the wraith gang, has somewhat of a dark, dark, past. Let me tell you a story of his, to make life a little easier for you, so you can understand the story.  
  
You see, a long time ago... Moe actually liked socks. Matter of fact his best friend was a sock. You see, Moe came to Mordor and became a wraith at a young age, like sheep. Because he was quite new he had no friends, he made one himself; a sockpuppet named "The Sock". Moe and the sock became quite good friends, but eventually, over time, Moe started to grow up and make new friends so he slowly abandoned the sock... one day, Moe was invited to a friend's (wraith) room to watch a movie, while the friends went to get a jug of pepsi, Moe (who smelt something horrible) found a sock under his bed. It was the moldiest, meldewist, mucky, sock ever. Ever since, Moe has been dead scared of socks. So that very night, when Moe went home, he grabbed the sock and took it outside...  
  
It was a dark and wet rainy day, (like all days at Mordor!) Moe grabbed the sock by it's neck and ran down the stairs, crying and sobbing silently...  
  
"Moe?!Moe?! What are you doing Moe?" said the Sock.  
  
Moe busted through the large wood plank doors to the rainy, mucky outside world. There was mud and puddles all over the ground.  
  
"Moe? What wrong Moe?! Why are you crying?" said the Sock again.  
  
Moe ran around the corner of the castle to the old dead oak tree.  
  
"Moe?" said the Sock in despair. "Goodbye Sock." Replied Moe.  
  
And as he laid the sock beside him, he dug a small, deep, hole. He then picked the sock up in his hands and tossed it into the hole.  
  
"Moe! Why have you deceived me??!" said the muddy sock. "'cause I hate socks." Moe said sadly. "Since when did you hate­" "AAAAHHHGGGHHH!!!"  
  
THUMP! (Moe throws rocks into hole...)  
  
Muffled cry from the sock... 


	13. A Wraith Tale Part Two

Part 003  
  
Crazy plan  
  
"Oh my Gawd. You're gonna die! You're gonna die!" (Ted)   
"Will you shut up??" (Fred)   
"We gotta help him!" (Sheep)   
"But how?? The Sock is after Moe!! What are we gonna do??!" (Terry)   
"We have to save him!" (Sam)   
"We'll figure out a way!!" (Larry)   
"Don't worry Moe!! You're in good hands!" (Will)   
"Larry! Put that torch down! This isn't the time for burning stuff!" (Fred)   
"Sorry..." (Larry)   
"Alright let's go to the lounge! We'll figure out a plan, save Moe and capture the sock!" (Larry) "Head out!" (Larry)  
  
"...." (Moe)   
"Guys? Are you sure this is going to work??" (Moe)   
"Don't you know? Socks can't swim!" (Larry)   
"And neither can I..." (Moe)   
"Oh." (Sam)   
"Well just hope the barrel doesn't leak, okay?" (Sam)   
"I don't like this..." (Moe)  
  
Oh great.... another one of the wraiths crazy plans. What will they do? Light Moe on fire and throw him off a cliff? Pour cement on him and place him in a cannon and shoot him off to the moon? No, no, no. This time they place him in a barrel, attach it to a anchor and toss him into a very deep lake. Thinking that socks cannot swim and Moe was safe, while they kept on watch. They were quite desperate and didn't quite fuss over the small details like if he ran out of air, or if the barrel leaked, or how long he should stay down there, or how he would get food. And as all things go in the case of the ring wraiths, Moe was only down there for about 10 minutes and trouble was already at work.  
  
"Hey, hey Larry." (Sam)   
"What?" (Larry)   
"I can't see the barrel." (Sam)   
"I can't either... there's the barrel! It just appeared." (Larry)   
"That ain't good." (Sam)   
"What ain't good?" (Larry)   
"The giant squid. That is what ain't good." (Sam)   
"What giant squid??" (Larry)   
"The one that lives in the lake." (Sam)   
"Oh I forgot." (Larry)   
"Look! Now there's bubbles coming up from the barrel." (Larry)   
"Oh no..." (Sam)   
"Guys!! Ted, Fred, Will!! The barrel is leaking!!" (Larry)   
"It is isn't it..." (Ted)   
"Ted you idiot!! Moe is drowning!" (Ed)   
"Ah." (Ted)   
"Terry, jump in there and save him!" (Sam)   
"Why me?" (Terry)   
"'cause you're the best swimmer! Now go!" (Sam)   
"Oh.... But there's a giant squid in there!" (Terry)   
"Jump. In. The. Water. Now!!" (Sam)   
"Alright..." (Terry)   
"What's happening?" (Sheep)  
"Oh hi. Anyone want a donut? me and Sheep got them from Tim Hortons. A giant box. Hey where's Moe?" (Bunnie)   
"I'll have a donut!" (Ted)   
"Same." (Ed)   
"No one's answering my question!" (Bunnie)   
"Um... Moe's in the barrel at the bottom of the lake." (Will)   
"These things weren't tested on animals were they?" (Will)   
"They're donuts Will. Donuts." (Fred)   
"Moe's what??!" (Bunnie)   
"Terry jump now." (Sam)   
"But I wanna donut!" (Terry)   
"Jump." (Sam)   
"Alright..." (Terry)  
  
SPLASH!  
  
"I'll have a cherry filled one please." (Sam)  
  
And so, Terry jumps in to save our poor unfortunate Moe from his drowning fate... Little does Terry and the other wraith know, Moe is already in danger, you see, by this time the barrel completely flooded and Moe couldn't breathe any longer and died. But of course the story doesn't end here. Terry freed Moe and dragged Moe back to the surface and Terry and the other wraiths took Moe to the lounge to revive him. Terry on the otherhand had gotten wacked by the giant squid a few times and suffered from a few broken ribs and punctured lung.  
  
Part 004  
  
To the elves  
  
"Huh? Where am I??" (Moe)   
"In the lounge. We had to revive you." (Larry)   
"It's the morning you slept like a log." (Ted)   
"We have some bad news..." (Sam)   
"Ed vanished. The Sock took him. And he left a note." (Sam)  
  
Sam hands the note to Moe.  
  
Dear Moe.   
  
WAZzUp?? I see you tried an effort to hide yourself from me, but it won't work! Give-up! You are doomed! Oh yeah, I took your friend. Too bad you'll never see him again!!  
  
BWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!,   
The Sock  
  
"Ed is...gone?" (Moe)   
"Seems so." (Ted)   
"That's it! I'm gonna get that stupid sock and rip him to shreds!!" (Moe)   
"But what if the Sock gets you instead??" (Larry)  
  
Sheep walks through the door.   
  
"Guys!! I have an idea to save Moe! And it might just work!!" (Sheep)   
"What idea?" (Sam)   
"We should go ask the elves and some other people for help!" (Sheep)   
"The elves cold help Moe! Help all their magic hocus-pocus powers they could destroy the sock and save Moe!" (Larry)   
"But Sauron would get mad if we asked the elves for help." (Ted)   
"Why don't we ask Sauron for help then?" (Fred)   
"Because if Sauron knew that Moe was running away from a sock, he would think Moe is weak and do something horrible to him." (Sam)   
"Sam's right. But what Sauron doesn't know can't hurt him, right?"(Moe)   
"We'd be able to get away with it easily because all Sauron does is look for that stupid ring..." (Will)   
"Alright then! It's settled. Let's go get the horses and set out right now for Riverdale!" (Sam) "Right now?" (Will)   
"Well, it will take a few weeks, or months..." (Sam) 


	14. A Wraith Tale Part Three

Part 005  
  
Bacon  
  
"Are we there yet?" (Sheep)   
"No."(Larry)   
"Are you sure we aren't there yet?" (Sheep)   
"Yes." (Larry)   
"So we are there?" (Sheep)   
"No!" (Larry)   
"Sorry! Don't have to get so cranky!" (Sheep)   
"And you don't have to get so annoying!" (Larry)   
"See? There you go again!" (Sheep)   
"Shuddup." (Larry)   
"Fine."(Sheep)   
"Only about 5 hours left to get there." (Terry)   
"kay." (Sheep)   
"Where are we any way?" (Sheep)   
"Some sort of Elvish battleground I think." (Ted)   
"Man...I'm sooooo hungrey..." (Fred)   
"I wish I brought some food." (Ted)   
"Remember that bar we tried to go into back there?" (Larry)   
"They started throwing stuff at us..." (Sam)   
"Mortals... they hate us just we are different. Because we wear black cloaks and are at the service of the dark lord..." (Will)   
"Hey! Smell that?" (Moe)   
"smells like...sniffsniff...bacon!" (Moe)   
"Smells delicious!!" (Terry)   
"Where do you think it's coming from?" (Larry)   
"Probably some wildsmen or travelers passing through or something." (Sam)   
"I don't care! Let's sneak up on them, scare 'em half to death twice and take the food!" (Larry) "Sounds like a perfect plan!" (Sam)   
"First we gotta find them! Alright guys! Follow your nose!" (Moe)  
  
And so the wraith gang heads out to find the source of the smell...  
  
"Hey look! A light! There's a fire over there!" (Sam)   
"Com'on guys! Let's get our food!" (Larry)   
"The fire's light is coming from a watch tower! Climb up it!" (Fred)   
"Hey there are like little people!" (Ted)   
"Nooooooo!! They dropped the food! In dirt! And ran up the tower!" (Terry)   
"This makes me mad! Fellow them! Maybe they have some more food!" (Moe)  
  
The wraiths chases the hobbits to the top of the tower!  
  
"Hahahaha!! We have you surrounded! Fellow wraiths, draw your swords!" (Moe)   
"Smallesh woodfolk! Give us your food!" (Moe)   
"Dude... I don't think they understand wraith lingo...try their language." (Will)   
"I can't speak it very well!" (Moe)   
"Then let me­" (Sam)  
"Aaagggghhhhhh!!! I'm on fire!! I'm on fire!" (Sam)   
"Stupid human!" (Terry)   
"Fire!!Fire!!" (Fred)   
"Smallish mortal give me your food!! Stupid cloak! " (Moe)   
  
TRIP   
"ahhhhh!" (Moe)   
"oh no..." (Moe)   
"Run! Everybody run!" (Sheep)   
"Retreat!" (Terry)  
  
Our wraith friends were forced to retreat because of the guys who had torches and kept catching their cloaks on fire.  
  
"Fred! Stop, drop and roll." (Sam)   
"It's still not going out!" (Fred)   
"Then throw yourself into that lake!" (Sam)   
"kay...there. It's out." (Fred)   
"Moe? You look so sad? Wazzup?" (Larry)   
"I went up to that midget to ask for food, but I tripped in my cloak and stabbed him." (Moe)   
"I feel so bad..." (Moe)   
"You should go say sorry..." (Larry)   
"You really think?" (Moe)   
"Yep." (Larry)   
"Guys! We're gonna go after them so that Moe can say sorry to the midget he acciddently stabbed ok?" (Larry)   
"What?? I nearly died and you expect me to go after 'em?" (Ted)   
"Alright! I'll go..." (Ted)   
"Then its settled we head out now!" (Larry)  
  
Part 006  
  
Watch out!  
  
"All this riding makes a guy bored..." (Larry)   
"Tell me about it..." (Sam)   
"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around 98 bottles of beer on the wall!" (Sheep)   
"Sheep.. this isn't the time for­ Ted! Don't you start singing too! Will? Larry? Terry? Sam? Will you guys stop singing?? Oh, well... if you can't stop'em... join the chorus of melody." (Moe)   
"96 bottles of beer of the wall..." (All)  
  
"Hey! There's the guy you stabbed!" (Sam)   
"Hurry up guys! We gotta catch him so I can apologize!" (Moe)   
"He's on horseback with another dude, I mean, dudette." (Will)   
"An Elvish dudette at that." (Ted)   
"Hey! Wait up!" (Sam)   
"She's too fast! Hey look! A river! That'll slow her down. Then we can apologize!" (Terry)  
  
Wraiths run into river.  
  
"Smallish person! I'm sorry for stabbing you!!" (Moe)   
"I don't think it understands you..." (Terry)   
"Of course not! How many times must I tell you! They don't understand our lingo!"(Sam)   
"She said something." (Moe)   
"Sam! What did she say?" (Moe)   
"Watch out!" (Sam)   
"Watch out for what?" (Moe)   
"No you idiot! Watch out for the river!!" (Sam)   
"Why would she say that?? Oh god. Run!" (Moe)  
  
Giant wave sweeps the wraiths up and washes them away. 


	15. A Wraith Tale Part Four

Part 007  
  
The top part a Rivendale  
  
"Roll call!" (Sam)   
"Oh, shut up! We're all here!" (Ted)   
"Hold Ed." (Larry)   
"Okay? Where are we??!" (Terry)   
"Near Rivendale, that's for sure..." (Moe)   
"How do you know we're near Rivendale?" (Sam)   
"I can see it." (Moe)   
"Wadda ya mean you can see it?" (Sam)   
"Hiya guys!" (Sheep)   
"Oh no! Sheep! You'll drown! Here hang on to me." (Will)   
"No need, see? I can swim!!" (Sheep)   
"Wow. Dude, one day you were in the lake with a giant inflatable tube holding on for dear life and now you're swimming in rapids. A-mazing." (Will)   
"Bunnie is here too." (Sheep)   
"What? I thought he said he was staying behind!" (Larry)   
"Because 'he didn't like all the dangerous adventuring stuff.'" (Fred)   
"Well, we could all use a little adventure in our lives right?" (Bunnie)   
"I think I liked him better when he was a fluffy bunnie. Now he looks like a wet rat. Smells like one too, don't you think?" (Sheep)   
"Hey!" (Bunnie)  
  
"Moe, you can see Rivendale?" (Sam)   
"Yep. See? Over there, well, the top part of it any way." (Moe)   
"What? The top part of it?" (Terry)   
"How can you see the top part of it??" (Larry)   
"You idiot! Because we're above the ground!!" (Sam)   
"Why we would be above the ground?" (Terry)   
"We're about to go over a water fall!!" (Sam)   
"WHAT?!" (Bunnie)   
"Here it comes..." (Moe)   
"Sheep grab onto me!" (Moe)   
"What about mmmeeee???" (Bunnie)   
"I got you." (Will)   
"Oh nnoooooo!!" (Terry)   
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!" (Fred)  
  
And so, our beloved wraiths fall down a very large waterfall and into Rivendale's rivers.  
  
Part 008  
  
Vile creature of Insanity  
  
"Now I want a roll call!" (Moe)   
"We don't need a stupid roll call!" (Sam)   
"Yes we do!' (Moe)   
"No we don't!!" (Sam)   
"You just hate me cause I'm beautiful! And I have a killer sock who wants my head and a little guy that I just stabbed!!" (Moe)   
"Fine then. I'm sorry. "(Sam)   
"Well, I'm sorry too, so there." (Moe)   
"I'm sorrier." (Sam)   
"No I am!!" (Moe)   
"Will you two shutup?!" (anomynous elf floating along in the water)   
"Ahhhhhh!! An elf girl!! We're doomed! We are to be slayed like chickens! Burned like top grade coal! Eaten like chocolate on Easter! By this vile creature of insanity!!" (Will)   
"I wish." (Elf girl)   
"Aahhhhhhh!! I'm drowning! She's using her evil powers to drown meeee!!!" (Ted)   
"Oh great. I'm caught in a fast current river with nine total idiots. Great." (Elf girl)   
"Crazy old witch! You may kill us! But our anger and grief may forever haunt you!" (Fred) "There's a dock coming up." (elf girl)   
"Thanks." (Moe)   
"What are you doing Moe?!" (Will)   
"She's trying to help us." (Sam)   
"Not only that, see speaks our language too. "(Moe)   
"We can't trust her!" (Larry)   
"I can't swim! I can't swim! But I can float." (Bunnie)   
"Oh look. There's the dock." (Sam)   
"Bye then." (Elf girl)   
"Thank yoouuuu!!" (Sheep)   
"Sheep!! Shutup!!" (Larry)   
"What? I think she's hot." (Sheep)   
"Shutup!! Shutup!! You're crazy, you know that??!" (Larry)   
"No, but I did know that I was psycho." (Sheep)   
"Stop arguing you two. We gotta go find that midget that I stabbed!!" (Moe) 


	16. A Wraith Tale Part Five

**Part 009**

**_Caught_**  
  
"Sshhhhhhhh!! We gotta be quiet. If we're caught..." (Moe)

"Kay." (Sam)

You can just picture the wraiths, walking around Rivendale at the house of Elrond, dripping wet, trying not to be seen and find the midget that Moe stabbed also.

"Hear that? I think someone's coming. Guys hide yourselves! Quick!" (Moe)  
  
As the wraiths hide behind trees and walls the approaching elf stops and stares at the puddle of water laying on the ground that trailed away to the places that the wraiths were hiding. After staring at the puddle for ten seconds that seemed like a century he finally left.  
  
"Guys! This way." (Moe)

"Hey look!" (Larry)

"Quiet! They might hear us. And stay hidden." (Moe)

"There's a dwarve, no two. Wait three. Three dwarves." (Will)

"Can't you count?" (Ted)

"No, but I can _divide_." (Will)

"And look, five elves and few men and a wizard and look! That midget you stepped on. I mean, stabbed." (Sam)

"There he is! I gotta go tell him...!" (Moe)

"Wait, maybe we shouldn't, I mean, they're talking about something important! Like a meeting. It would be rude to interrupt." (Larry)

"Plus there's a wizard there too." (Sheep)  
  
**_Moe stands up_**  
  
"LITTLE MIDGET I'M SORRY FOR STABBING YOU!!! I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!! I'M SO SORRY!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!" (Moe)  
  
**_pause for effect_**  
  
"RRRUUNNN!!!" (Terry)

"Ahhhh!! Moe you idiot!!" (Fred)

"YES! I know that I'm an idiot!" (Moe)

"Ahhhh I got an arrow in my arm!!" (Larry)

"Just keep running!" (Will)

"Quick, into those woods!" (Moe)  
  
And so, the wraiths were chased into the woods where they had just narrowly escaped or so they think.  
  
**Part 010**

**_Dizzy the Elf Girl_**  
  
"Okay...I...Think....we..." (Moe said thought total exhaustion)

"Made it out okay?" (Sheep)

"Yeah." (Moe)

"Hey black cloaked people!!" (Elf girl pops out of nowhere) "

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" (Will)

"RUNNN!!" (Larry)

"No, no. Don't run away! Just listen to me." (Elf girl)

"I'm listening" (Moe)

"So am I." (Sheep)

"You freaks!!" (Fred)

"You like girls!" (Terry)

"Shutup! I'm just being nice! Unlike _some_!!" (Moe)

"Yeah right." (Sam)

"I'll have you know I've never kissed nor been kissed by a girl in my life." (Moe)

"Liar!! I saw you get kissed by a girl!!" (Larry)

"No I haven't!!" (Moe)

"Did too!!!" (Larry)

"When?" (Moe)

"Yesterday." (Larry)

"You're the liar!!" (Moe)

"It's true!! Yesterday, before you left your visit to your mother's house, _she kissed you."_

"Mom is sort of a girl..." (Moe)

"See?!" (Larry)

"Will the both of you stop it?!" (Elf girl)

"My name is Dizzy." (Dizzy)

"And I want to join you and your crew." (Dizzy)

"The gang?! Your kidding me right?" (Moe)

"I kid you not." (Dizzy)

"I hate to break it to you, but... no girls allowed. Strictly speaking." (Moe)

"Come on, please?? I don't fit in here. I'll admit I am a little gothic. Well, maybe a lot. And the other elves don't like me because of that. Besides, I can be fun!" (Dizzy)

"Nope. Can't do that. It's against tradition. No way." (Moe)

"Hear that??!" (Sam)

"Oh nnooo! It's the people in the trees!!" (Will)

"Don't be silly Will, there's no such a thing." (Terry)

"Yes there is! I met them on that Christmas party last year." (Will)

"I see, the one where you got totally off on pepsi and coke mixed." (Terry)

"Yeah..." (Will)

"Wait I hear it again. And it smells like..." (Sam)

"Like...?" (Moe)

"Wolves." (Sam)


	17. A Wraith Tale Part Six

**Part 011  
  
_Time for a little magic!_**  
  
"Aaahhhhhh!! Run!" (Bunnie)  
  
"Where were you?!" (Will)  
  
"Sleeping in Larry's pocket." (Bunnie)  
  
"No don't run! Draw your swords!" (Moe)  
  
"I liked running better! Considering that I don't have a _sword_!" (Sheep)  
  
"They're big, they got teeth, and they can rip us to shreds!!" (Fred)  
  
"Hey, if I save your butts can I be a member of your crew?" (Dizzy)  
  
"Um..." (Moe)  
  
"Yes!! Yes you can!!" (Sam)  
  
"Alright then," (Dizzy)  
  
"Time for a little magic!" (Dizzy)  
  
"_Flaming Arrow_!" (Dizzy)  
  
"What was _that_??!" (Moe)  
  
"You expect to defeat us with puffs of smoke??! Hahaha you mortals really are sad.  
  
Especially you." (Wolf)  
  
"Are you _dissing_ me??!" (Dizzy)  
  
"Yes. Haha." (Wolf)  
  
"Aarrrggghhh!!!" (Dizzy)  
  
"_Sun's own glory,  
  
Let it burn bright,  
  
And with the Earth's magic,  
  
Shall it engnite!!!  
  
_**DRAGON FIRE!!!!"** (Dizzy)  
  
"How was _that_?" (Dizzy)  
  
"Wow. Great. You killed them all. But there's one downside." (Moe)  
  
"What is that?" (Dizzy)  
  
"**THE WHOLE FOREST IS ON FIRE!!"** (Moe)  
  
"oh." (Dizzy)  
  
"You might have black hair, but you're still a blond." (Sam)  
  
"Shall we run?" (Dizzy)  
  
"Yes we shall." (Moe)  
  
_And so, our wraith friends journey continues, this time with an extra person._  
  
**Part 012  
  
_May it Be_  
**  
"If I take one more step I'll..." (Sam)  
  
"You'll what?" (Larry)  
  
"Bite you." (Sam)  
  
"Haha." (Larry)  
  
"We've been walking all day...don't you guys ever get tried of this?" (Dizzy)  
  
"No not really." (Fred)  
  
"What brings you out here anyway?"  
  
"We were trying to save Moe." (Sam)  
  
"From what?" (Dizzy)  
  
"The sock." (Sam)  
  
_And so the wraiths explained to her all about the sock incident, why they left Mordor and how they stabbed the midget and came to Rivendale. This took a bit of time to explain._  
  
"So that's why nine ring wraiths came out here." (Dizzy)  
  
"Yep." (Moe)  
  
"I thought it was something else." (Dizzy)  
  
"Maaannnnn... This is ssooooooo boring." (Sheep)  
  
"Hey Larry can I sit on your shoulders? My legs are getting ssoooo tired." (Sheep)  
  
"Nope." (Larry)  
  
"Pplleeaassseee???" (Sheep)  
  
"Oh, alright. Under one condition." (Larry)  
  
"What's that?" (Sheep)  
  
"You have to sing." (Larry)  
  
"What? You're kidding me right?" (Sheep)  
  
"Oh, this'll be good." (Will)  
  
"Alright! I'll sing!" (Sheep)  
  
"Ha. I knew you would." (Larry)  
  
_Larry picks up Sheep and puts him on his shoulders._  
  
"Now sing." (Larry)  
  
"Hang on. I gotta think of a song..." (Sheep)  
  
_"May it be an evening star  
  
Shines down upon you  
  
May it be when darkness falls  
  
Your heart will be true  
  
You walk a lonely road  
  
Oh! How far you are from home..."_ (Sheep)  
  
"Aaaahhhhhh!!! Stop it! Stop it!!" (Larry)  
  
"I can't take the pain any longer!!" (Ted)  
  
"Haha. Very funny guys." (Sheep) 


	18. A Wraith Tale Part Seven

**Part 013  
  
_E-lect-o-city_  
**  
"So...um... where are we going?" (Ted)  
  
"Yeah, _where are_ we going?" (Moe)  
  
"To my brother's. He said he had something really important to show me. He wanted you guys to come too." (Sam)  
  
"Oh that's where we're headed to." (Dizzy)  
  
"Hey, I remember your brother! He's really cool. A genius!" (Larry)  
  
"What?" (Sheep)  
  
"A inventor, and a mathematician." (Sam)  
  
"A ma-the-ma-tic-ti-an?" (Sheep)  
  
"No, mathematician." (Sam)  
  
"Yeah." (Sheep)  
  
"Matter-of-fact we should be there quite soon." (Sam)  
  
"About time. My legs are getting all tired...with no help from having a fat potato on my back." (Larry)  
  
"Your brother lives out here in the mountains?" (Dizzy)  
  
"Yep." (Sam)  
  
"Actually, he used to have a house under the water, but that didn't work out too well." (Moe)  
  
"Why was that?" (Dizzy)  
  
"Because the land lords kept trying to burn it down." (Moe)  
  
"Hahaha! That's cute! I like you." (Dizzy)  
  
"Hear that Sam? She _likes_ me." (Moe)  
  
"Oh, shut up before you break anymore R.W.C. rules." (Sam)  
  
"Hey we're here!" (Larry)  
  
"See Sheep? That's his house." (Will)  
  
"It's a windmill." (Sheep)  
  
"Why would he have a windmill?" (Sheep)  
  
"Well, he needed something to power his inventions." (Will)  
  
"Power them with what?" (Sheep)  
  
"Electocity...or something like that..." (Will)  
  
"E-lect-o-city...new to me." (Sheep)  
  
"yep." (Will)  
  
"Hey!!! Mikey! Hi!" (Sam)  
  
"Wow. You guys made it! I wanna show you something!" (Mike)  
  
"That's what we came for!" (Moe)  
  
"Who's this little fella?" (Mike)  
  
"That's Sheep! The replacement of Joe.." (Sam)  
  
"Joe's dead? That's too bad..." (Mike)  
  
"And who is this _beautiful young lady_?" (Mike)  
  
"Shut the hell up." (Dizzy)  
  
"Ouch." (Mike)  
  
"Anyway, what was it that you wanted to show us so badly?" (Sam)  
  
"It's is my flying machine." (Mike)  
  
"You have got to be kidding us, right?" (Bunnie)  
  
"My Lord! It's a talking rabbit!" (Mike)  
  
"Just when I thought I saw it all..." (Mike)  
  
"Same here, and you come up with what? A flying machine?" (Moe)  
  
"I want to take guys flying in it. You know, just a ride to where ever you're headed, I'll drop you off." (Mike)  
  
"Yep. And where is this flying device of yours?" (Moe)  
  
"Over here, on the top of this mountain." (Mike)  
  
"Let's see it then." (Moe)  
  
**Part 014  
  
_PB&J sandwiches_**  
  
And so our wraith and non-wraith friends climb to the top of yet another mountain (to their dislikeness of doing so,) and see Mike amazing adivevement. The "flying machine" was more like a hot air balloon with wings and propellers attached.  
  
"Yaaaayyyy!!! I wanna go flying!" (Sheep)  
  
"That would be nice but I could go with some food and a rest first, if its not _too_ much trouble." (Dizzy)  
  
"No,no, it's all fine with me. Following me this way to my house. I have some bread and jam. Do you like that?" (Mike)  
  
"Yep. And we have some peanut butter so we can have PB&J sandwiches!" (Sam)  
  
"What's PB&J sandwiches?" (Sheep)  
  
"You've never had PB&J sandwiches?" (Will)  
  
"Nope. What is it?" (Sheep)  
  
"You really are a deprived child." (Will)  
  
"No one's answering my question." (Sheep)  
  
"It's peanut butter and jam sandwichs." (Larry)  
  
"Ohhhh....thank-you." (Sheep)  
  
"Here we are. Welcome to my beloved home." (Mike)  
  
"Wow. It's more complex than before and that's saying a lot." (Fred)  
  
"A million gizmos and gadgets. Typical for Mike." (Terry)  
  
"Look at all the books! You sure like to read huh?" (Dizzy)  
  
"You bet. The table is over here, um... somewhere over here." (Mike)  
  
"Yeah, somewhere. You might be a genius but that doesn't make up for all the mess you leave around." (Larry)  
  
"...you gotta point." (Mike)  
  
"Guess we better clear the table." (Sam)  
  
"You know what this calls for?" (Sheep)  
  
"What does it call for?" (Bunnie)  
  
"A cleanup song!" (Sheep)  
  
"Oh god. Nnnoooooooo!!!" (Bunnie)  
  
"_cleanup, cleanup,  
  
everybody work, no play!  
  
Cleanup, cleanup!  
  
Just obey me and slave away!  
_  
Ooowwwww!!! You hit me!!" (Sheep)  
  
"Yes. With a monkey werch too." (Moe)  
  
"I have a bolt cutter! Can I take a shot at hitting him?" (Fred)  
  
"And I brought my trusty welding torch!" (Larry)  
  
"No Fred, you cannot beat him with a monkey wench, and no Larry, you cannot engite him with a welding torch." (Sam)  
  
"We were just kidding! We wouldn't do anything to Sheep!" (Larry)  
  
"That's a relief." (Sheep)  
  
"Table is clear! Bring out the food!" (Mike)  
  
"Yaaayyyy!!! PB&G!" (Sheep)  
  
"PB&J." (Sam)  
  
"Oh yeah. PB&J." (Sheep) 


	19. A Wraith Tale Part Eight SUPER SECERT PR...

**Part 015**  
  
**_Oh the glorious hazards of flying!_**

**__**

_Just so all you people know, this is a SUPER SECERT PREVIEW CHAPTER which means, it's only half done, but you can read it anyway. I'll update it later so it's complete._

_Your freaky friend that you may never know,_

_darksteeldragonofdoom (don't forget to R&R!!)_

****  
  
"Are you sure this thing is gonna fly? I mean, come off of the ground at all?" (Dizzy)  
  
"Sure it will." (Mike)  
  
"How are you gonna get it in the air?" (Moe)  
  
"We use the launcher to fling off the edge of the cliff." (Mike)  
  
"Shut. Up." (Larry)  
  
"no." (Mike)  
  
"You're totally crazy." (Moe)  
  
"Crazier than I last thought you were last." (Mike)  
  
"Well, it's works." (Mike)  
  
"Prove it." (Fred)  
  
"I was in it flying just the other day." (Mike)  
  
"Really?" (Sam)  
  
"Hurry up and get on board." (Mike)  
  
"I don't like this. I don't like this. Did I ever tell you that I don't like this?" (Terry)  
  
"Can't recall." (Mike)  
  
"Everybody in their seats, or... places anyway? Sorry, I don't have seats." (Mike)  
  
"That's okay, just don't kill us." (Dizzy)  
  
"I'll try not to." (Mike)  
  
"Hang on while I launch this thing." (mike)  
  
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!" (Will)  
  
"Three..." (Mike)  
  
"I'm too young." (Will)  
  
"Two..." (Mike)  
  
"It isn't supposed to be like this.." (Will)  
  
"One..." (Mike)  
  
"This looks fun!"(Sheep)  
  
"And we're off!" (Mike)  
  
"Falling! Falling! How come we're not flying?" (Will)  
  
"Hang on, the wings have got to catch the wind." (Mike)  
  
"Are you sure you've _done this_ before?" (Moe)  
  
"No." (Mike)  
  
"WHAT?!" (Moe)  
  
"Ahhhh!!!" (Bunnie)  
  
"What was that?!" (Sam)  
  
"The wind. And it's much too powerful! I thought it was weaker, or at least it was on the top of the mountain?" (Mike)  
  
"This isn't supposed to be happening!!" (moe)  
  
"The wind is going to carry us straight into those mountains!!" (Mike)  
  
"oh great." (Sheep)  
  
"Come on! You gotta come up with something! You're my genius brother!" (Sam)  
  
"Yes! Yes! I know! Whoa!!" (Mike)  
  
"It's tipping!!" (Moe)  
  
"Quick everyone! Run to the other side of the craft! Our weight will steady the tipping!" (Mike)  
  
"I don't like this!" (Dizzy)  
  
"No! Now it's tipping the other way!!" (Larry)  
  
Suddenly without warning, the craft tips the other way and without notice, something horrible happens! And yet, not horrible at all.  
  
"Aahhhhhh!!!" (Dizzy)  
  
"Dizzy! Quick! Grab my hand!" (Moe)  
  
"Got it! Don't let go!" (Dizzy)  
  
"I won't. At least _not on purpose_." (Moe)  
  
"Don't be childish at a time like this! 'Cause if you let go, I'll..!" (Dizzy)  
  
"You'll what?" (Moe)  
  
"No! It's slipping! You're letting go!" (Dizzy)  
  
"You'll what?!" (Moe)  
  
"Moris James Ronald! Stop grinning!! If you let go...!" (Dizzy)  
  
"How'd you know my name?!" (Moe)  
  
"Ahh! I'm slipping!" (Dizzy)  
  
"yep." (Moe)  
  
"I swear if you let go...!" (Dizzy)  
  
"That you'd go out with me?" (Moe)  
  
"What? That's a pretty low way to get me to go out with you! Threatening me with my life!!" (Dizzy)  
  
"Well, you're one tough chick to get a date with." (Moe)  
  
"Fine! Fine! I'll go out with you!" (Dizzy)  
  
"Watch out for the railing!" (Dizzy)  
  
"Guys! I have an idea to save us!" (Sheep)  
  
"Way to go Sheep! You always have an idea!" (Will)  
  
"too bad none of them work." (Sam)  
  
"Trust me here! We have to cut away the balloon of air!" (Sheep)  
  
"What? But we'll sink! Like a rock!" (Mike)  
  
"The air balloon is just slowing us down and making us lose control of steering. Plus, these are strong prevailing winds, we should glide along the wind at fast speeds for thousands of kilometers!" (Sheep)  
  
"He's got a point. I just wish I thought of it first!" (Mike)


End file.
